I usually have a lot to say, but Ms. D said it better than I ever could. She’s given me permission to share her words and with complete gratitude, I put her heart out in this blog. When I read her story, I was jolted. She so eloquently described what most women feel, but are scared to share. And worse, what we are afraid to feel. I cannot thank you enough, Ms. D. I know you know the issues we women face. (go NOW and check out her company, BioConnect – where they believe in enhancing the quality of life at every stage of a woman’s life. From menopause, to our sex lives, body wellness and SO much more, they empower ALL women.).

Without further ado, Ms. D.

PART 1: HOLDING UP THE CEILING
“I turned 45 and I wanted to capture what I looked like at this stage of my life. From a physical aspect, it is probably the lowest I have been in over a decade. I did have the moment of thinking I should wait until I was back in shape, especially after this shoulder injury, but I wanted to meet myself and balls ME in the eye. After holding up the ceiling for so long for so many and I wanted to take this moment to thank me for getting to this place and also to give myself permission to keep going.

I want to capture what I look like when I don’t have it all together. To be vulnerable, to look back and see the time when it was the best and incredibly hard all at once. I want to see what I look like when I was brave and I stepped away from comfort to create a dream. When I took my heart and soul with me to create something new. The season when I learnt what all the pain was for. 

The season I learnt my purpose.”

PART 2: BREAKING THE CEILING

How do you tell someone thank you when what they have done concretely changed your entire year?!

Aniya, yesterday’s experience can only be described (and yes I thesaurused words for life changing ) as transformative, cathartic, mind-blowing!

We talked of my email describing my life as holding up the ceiling for so long but the gift you gave me yesterday was to shatter that … and you did it so unknowingly!

Every time we came out of a pose you would say “ you can relax” or “ you can come out of the pose “ – those words that I’m sure you say every.single.day … that right there was my gift. For 3 hours I got to just relax, I got to come out of the pose that I lace up to every day my feet hit the floor. So much of the expectations of us women are to maintain the pose and posture set before us. Whether that be society, patriarchy , religion , or hot damn the expectations we put ourselves. Not all of these are bad but man they can be exhausting !!!

The other word you used was “collapse”. I’d like you to look at that word not as word but rather a tool. When you said it, where was I collapsing into? Who was I collapsing into? And right there is where the healing began .. I collapsed into me . Into the body that has supported and carried me all these years. I collapsed not into the arms of another but into the fluidity of my own skin. Funny , when I drove off I thought to myself, never once did I think to suck my stomach in! It’s a basic thought, but none of my vulnerabilities reared their heads. I was in a safe place to collapse, relax and in all of that start to find me .

So let me close off by saying thank you for showing me that the lens through which we look at this life can make all the difference to how we show up, that sometimes we need to change the lens to an 85 (though I have no idea what that means lol!!) to change our perspective , that’s saying an encouraging word really can make all the difference to someone’s day, to ask for help and have people around you who are aligned with your mission, to say thank you for other people’s suggestions but stick to what you know is right for you (the bodysuit, the pin ahaha ) , that there is beauty in the pose but there is healing in the collapse. You can call yourself a photographer but to me you will be a connection specialist because that’s what we did yesterday – we connected me back to me .

Thank you for doing what you and your team do.

Ms. D.”

Ms. D, thank you.. so very much..

Aniya, xo