Your truth is not everyone’s truth

In 2014, I hit a crossroad.

I was working as a Criminologist with the Barbados Government, and a few years prior, had started a little side hustle.

Photographing families.

During the week I was nose down in all things human trafficking, specifically in sex trafficking minors, and on weekends I was creating beautiful memories for my clients.

To say these two worlds were polar opposites is an understatement. One was dark, and one was light..
and I needed the light.

I spent most of a year agonizing over something my heart was telling me.

It’s time for a change.

I was going to be a PHOTOGRAPHER

Um… hold up, what?

This was the sentiments of pretty much everyone in my life who I dared uttered the words to.

The resounding shock and “what the fuck’s”?” still ring in my ear.

The thing is, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I spent my days in the office dreaming of a life that was so incredibly different from the one I was living, even I couldn’t believe my own audacity. I was proud of this new path I wanted to take and I was ready to scream it from the rooftops.

Only to realize, most people didn’t share my same enthusiasm.

Here are some pieces of “advice” I got from some (I’m sure) well intentioned people:

➳ But isn’t there another photographer in Barbados who does what you want to do? They’re really good at it, sooooo… Just sayin.

➳ Why would you leave a steady paying job for the unknown?

➳ But do you know anything about business?

➳ You want to be what? How will you make money?

➳ You’re batshit crazy… (gee, thanks)

And with each question, it was as though the “reality” of what they were asking hit me in my knees, and I’d temporarily fall.

But I’d always getting back up again.. and dream.

One day though, I didn’t get up quite as easily as I did before.

A friend told me that before starting a business, something that I’d never done, it would be great to talk to someone who dominated the world of business. So I did. I made a call and asked if I could meet them at their home to chat about my radical ways of thinking – leaving a salaried job for the unknown.

They welcomed me over.

I walked up the stairs onto the breathtaking patio, with my dreams on the ready to share, sat down and spilled my heart.

What came next was more than a punch in my gut.

Where was my business plan? Do I have investors? Have I researched my market? What’s the competition like? Products? Who’s going to want to buy photographs for their wall. That’s not a good business. What will your costs be? Your margains?

I sat there feeling equal parts sick and dumb, all at once. I had no answers.
I didn’t even know what language they were speaking.

I thanked them for their time, and sharing what was undoubtedly a wealth of knowledge… walked down those patio stairs, this time, as deflated as a ten day old balloon, went into my car and cried. for what seemed like hours.

Two weeks later, I wrote my resignation letter.

What I realized was that it took me a year to build up the courage to dream. To visualize a life that I wanted for myself and my kids. Sure, perhaps I didn’t think through the nuts and bolts, but what I knew in my soul, was that I wanted it. No business advice, no one thinking I was crazy was going to stop me.

Why? Because all those well meaning reasons for NOT leaving my job wasn’t MY truth.

It was THEIRS.

Let’s revisit those little pieces of advice and turn them around and see what they really mean.

➳ “But isn’t there another photographer in Barbados who does what you want to do? They’re really good at it, sooooo… Just sayin.” Really means:
Oh man, if there was another photographer out there, I’d be so scared of competition, I wouldn’t even bother.

➳ “Why would you leave a steady paying job for the unknown?”
Really means:
I would never leave a salaried job for the unknown. You shouldn’t either.

➳ “But do you know anything about business?”
Really means:
I don’t believe you can start and run a business, you know nothing about it!

➳ “You want to be what? How will you make money?
Really means:
I have no idea about the photography business, and so I have no clue how you’d make money.

➳ “You’re batshit crazy”… (gee, thanks)
Really means:
I wish I was as brave as you.

And the mother of them all, the one that sent this gal crying in her car for minutes but seemed like hours before wiping them away and turning on the ignition, ready to driver herself into a new life?

Their truth was that for them, I was selling something that wasn’t valuable to them, so for them, it made no sense. And I internalized it the way they wanted me too. That I was indeed, silly, stupid and dumb for not knowing the answers to their questions.

Until I realized, that was their truth. not mine.

I’m not denying the REALLY good practice of asking for advice. We need to equip ourselves with knowledge before making decisions of any size. Education is KEY.

But remember, everyone you talk to comes with their own experiences. Their own believes, their own desires, their own fears, and yes, their own truth.

I’m not saying take all advice with a grain of salt.

But I am saying, take it, believing in your dreams more than believing their truth.

Aniya, xo

I am the ULTIMATE empath and storyteller. 

Hey, I’m Aniya (Ah-Knee-Ya) – the ultimate empath and storyteller. 

That’s a weird combo, isn’t it?

Kind of, but not really. 

I have strong feelings about pretty much everything. And because of this, I know the value of a moment that needs to be photographed. 

My clients have coined me a “Connection specialist”, and I’ll happy take that. 

Whether I’m photographing your wedding, your family, or your awesome self in my studio, I’m feeling your feels, and making damn honest, beautiful photographs for you.